Chair Song Sung at the Royal Albert Hall 5th May 1999

I'm just a chair Don't you care I'm just a chair Don't you care

I'm not a rump roast I'm not a pork chop I'm not a glass of lemonade I'm not a random thought

I'm just a chair Don't you care

I hung out in the closet for 6 months or so Until Easter or Christmas & then you sit fat uncle Irwing's arse on me & he's got bad gas from all the turkey anyway

& I'm a chair I'm just a chair

You kicked me over in the middle of an argument about Eygpt or Israel & I'm lying on my side staring at the ceiling saying: "What about me man, what about my feelings?"

& I'm just a chair

I was born in a factory in Newcastle Yeah I was a geordie lad Then I came down to London Started playing soccer for Chelsea Scored more goals than Vialli Then they retired my jersey Cause I can run faster anyways Cause I got 4 legs

& I'm just a chair I'm just a chair I'm just a chair I'm just a chair

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© Steve Poltz